


Sparks Fly

by GalaxyTrees



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/F, F/M, M/M, Slow Burn, gayyyyyy, i don’t be know how to tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-04-23 06:26:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14326557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalaxyTrees/pseuds/GalaxyTrees
Summary: What if Connor Murphy failed is suicide attempt? Now, Evan's lie catches up to him faster than he would have liked. Then, Connor suggests that they pretend to be friends to please their parents.But, after weeks of pretending, something changes.-ON HIATUS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE--I do plan on finishing this though-





	1. Chapter 1: The Letter

Chapter I: The Letter 

Memebomb:

A letter to yourself? What is that like some creepy sex thing?

Acorn_Hansen: 

What?

No! Its not a sex thing! Its an assignment or something. 

Memebomb:

Why are you talking to me about this exactly?

Acorn_Hansen:

I don't have anyone else to talk to, your my only... family friend. 

Memebomb:

Oh my god.

Acorn_Hansen:

I don't know what to do he stole the letter from me three days ago, and he hasn't been at school since. 

What is he gonna do?

Memebomb:

Who knows! Connor Murphy is batshit out of his mind. Do you remember in the second grade when he threw a printer at Mrs. G, because he wasn't line leader?

Acorn_Hansen:

I don't think he threw the printer...

Memebomb:

Whatever

Acorn_Hansen:

Do you think he's going to show other people?

Memebomb:

Hes going to ruin your life with it, im sure. I mean, I would.

 

Evan locked his phone, Jared was being no help to him, in his time of crisis. What was he going to do? The infamous Connor Murphy had his letter for therapy. And he was going to ruin his life with it, just like Jared said. 

|o0o|

 

Evan was on the verge of a panic attack as he made his way to the principle's office. He had no idea why he was asked to go down there, he didn't do anything wrong. Well, as far as he knows anyway. 

When he finally gets there, he is even more confused. in the chairs sat two people. A woman with red hair, and a man with salt and pepper hair, both looked extremely exhausted. 

"Good morning." Evan said nervously, "is Mr. Howard...?" 

Both people looked up, not really comprehending what he was saying.

"Im sorry they said on the speakers to come down here..."

The man stood up to greet Evan after realization dawned on him. 

"Mr. Howard stepped out. We wanted to speak to you in private, if you'd like too..." He ended awkwardly motioning to a chair. Evan took a seat, backpack pulled close to his chest. This was not going to end well, he knew that much. 

"We- we're Connor's Parents." Evan's eyes widened. The parents of his long-time crush Zoe and the kid who had his letter, were here in front of him. And they did not look well. 

The woman help out a folded piece of paper to Evan. "Connor, he- uh, he wanted you to have this." 

"We- we didn't... we never heard your name before...but its right there. Its addressed to "Dear Evan Hansen"." The man seemed to be distraught, like he didn't know what to feel. 

The nerves started to build up. "He- he gave this to you?" 

"We didn't know that you two were friends." He said ignoring Evan's question. 

"You think this, you think Connor wrote this to me?" 

The woman spoke this time. "These are the words he wanted to share with you."

Before he had time to say anything the man spoke again. But, Evan wishes he hadn't. "His last words."

With that Evan almost broke. His last words? Is he dead? Did you KILL Connor Murphy? Did you kill your crush's brother! 

"I'm sorry, what do you mean last words?" 

The two Murphys shared a long look. 

"Connor tried to take his own life three days ago." Evan dropped his bag. He did kill himself. 

"Wha-" 

"He's not dead," the ginger woman spoke again, seemingly even more distraught. "He- he's in a coma. But, we don't know if he's going to live. This was folded up in his pocket when- when he was found." 

"But, no- im sorry. Connor didn't write this. I think-"

"What does he mean Larry?' the woman asked. The man, Larry, held his wife closer. 

"He's obviously in shock."

"No, I cant do this, I need to go." Evan tried to leave, but was stopped by the woman. 

"Cynthia-" 

"The letter please." She asked. 

"I'm sorry can I please just leave?" Evan tried to go around Cynthia. 

She was going to say something, before she gasped. He pointed a shaky hand to Evan's left arm. 

"Larry, Larry look! His cast." 

Evan lifted his arm to remember the name Connor scrawled in big letters, taking up the entirety of the front. 

"His best and dearest friend."


	2. Chapter 2: Dinner Gone South

Chapter II: Dinner gone South 

 

"Does anyone want more chicken?" Larry asked standing up, 

"I think you're the only one with an appetite, Larry." Cynthia said glancing at the two teens sitting at the dinner table. 

The Murphys had invited Evan over for dinner, once they found out that he and Connor were friends. Although, that wasn't true in the slightest. 

At the moment, Connor was in the hospital, still in a coma. Zoe had her head down on the table, plate clear of any food. Evan sat awkwardly, analyzing the bowl of apples in the center of the table. 

"So," Cynthia began looking at Evan. "You guys hung out lot?" 

"Pretty much." Evan said trying to follow Jared's advice. Don't make shit up, and don't contradict. Just nod your head and, say "yeah'. 

"Where?" Zoe asked skeptical. 

"Oh, you mean like? Well, we normally hung out at my house, but we would come here if no one was home. We would mostly email, because sometimes he didn't want to hang out in person, and I wanted to respect that."

"We looked through his emails, there weren't any from you." Zoe said crossing her arms leaning back into her chair. 

Shit Hansen what did you get yourself into?

"Uh, I think he had a secret account or something." Evan continued to look at the apples, not trusting himself to look at Zoe. 

"Why was it secret?" She asked leaning forward. She didn't believe him in the slightest. 

"To make it more private I guess."

Cynthia turned to her husband. "He knew you read his emails."

Larry's face didn't change. "Someone had to be the bad guy."

"The weird thing is." Zoe began. All eyes turned to her. "The only time I saw you and my brother interact was when he shoved you in the hall."

"He pushed you?" Cynthia cried out.

"No it was just a misunderstanding! I guess he didn't want to talk that day! He was a little embarrassed by me."

Cynthia's gaze became confused. "Why would he be embarrassed?" 

"Oh, well I guess he thought I was sort of, ya know..." Zoe finished his sentence. 

"A nerd?"

"Zoe," Larry warned. 

"I was going to say loser but that works too."

"that wasn't very nice Zoe."

"well Connor wasn't very nice!" She defended herself. 

"Connor was a complicated person." Cynthia said getting defensive too. 

"No, he was a bad person, there's a difference."

This time Larry spoke up. "Zoe, please."

"Don't act like you don't agree with me! You said it yourself how many times? And now you wanna play good father? All because you guys aren't fighting anymore?" 

"Please," Evan spoke up suddenly. "Please stop talking like he's dead. You said it yourself. He's just in a comma."

"Evan. Be reasonable, he's not going to live, he doesn't want too. That why he took the fucking pills in the first place!" Zoe's anger was deep. It wasn't about Connor basically being dead. It was about how badly he had treated her. 

"He- he overdosed?" Evan chocked out. He hadn't known. And this talk, about how Connor was going to let go, it hit close to home. 

"Shit, you didn't know did you?" Zoe asked, eyes widening with realization. 

Evan stood abruptly. "I need to go. I'm sorry, dinner was wonderful."

No one tried to stop him as he ran out the door, and all the way to his house. 

When he got there, he slammed his bedroom door shut and stared at the stars on his ceiling. The glow in the dark ones his mom had put up when he was ten. 

Tears were streaming down his face, and he knew, as he climbed into his bed, that tomorrow morning, he was going to visit Connor Murphy in the hospital.


	3. Chapter 3: Hospital Visits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan and Connor formally meet.

Chapter III: Hospital Visits

Saturday morning, Evan left the house at exactly eight thirty. Took a bus to the hospital and managed to avoid the floor his mom worked on. 

"Hi Evan!" The blonde nurse at the counter said. "Are you here for your mom? You know she works the ER on weekends." 

"Um, no. I'm actually here to see Connor Murphy." He said to her. He had known her since he was little, but they haven't seen each other in years. 

"Oh? The poor long hired boy who tried to kill himself? He's in room 454. Tell him I said hello!" 

Evan walked to the room, sure his hands were sweating. 

When he got there Connor was awake. He was sitting up staring out the window. Evan quietly knocked on the door. 

"Susan, I know you want to help, but I don't want to talk." Connor said without looking. 

"Uh actually..." 

Connor slowly turned his head. "Oh. I'm sorry, I thought you were my nurse."

"Its okay." Evan said slightly flustered. Connor was kind of cute. With his mis matching eyes and hair in a small knot. 

"Why are you here?" Connor's voice was soft. He looked and sounded tired. Evan could see his arms coved in freckles and thing white scars. When Evan looked back to Connor's face, he saw no anger, no sadness, no pain, no fear. He saw nothing. 

"I wanted to visit." Evan said sitting down in the chair next to the bed. 

"But why? I haven't had any visitors." 

Evan was confused now. "What about your parents? What about Zoe?" 

Connor's eyes found the window again. Just outside was a large willow tree, leaves starting to fall off. 

"They don't know I'm awake. I woke up a few hours ago. When the nurse asked if I wanted them to know I said no. I wanted some time, without hearing the sobs and shit."

"About that." Evan said nervously. "Your parents sort of think that we're friends."

Evan expected Connor to blow up. To get mad and rip out his IV and beat Evan up. But he didn't. He didn't do anything. He sat and blinked at Evan. 

"Because I signed your cast?" 

"Yeah and they found the letter."

Connor tilted his head, almost like a cat. "What letter?" 

"The- um. The letter you took from me on Monday. The one for my therapist."

"Oh. That." Connor was looking at the ceiling now. "I'm sorry." 

"I just have one question." 

Connor turned his head towards Evan, his hair falling out of the bun. 

"Why? Did you keep it I mean? You could have thrown it away, ripped it, crumpled it. But instead, it was folded up nicely in your pocket. Why?"

Connor was quiet, his face scrunched up, like he was trying to figure out how to word his answer. 

After a few minutes he spoke. "Because, it said everything I couldn't."  
Evan's head shot up. "You mean?" 

"That letter, that you wrote. It was my suicide note. I'm sorry you had to go through all of this."

"Connor," Evan began. He grabbed Connor's hand, and he didn't pull away. "Connor, I'm glad I found out. Because it means you're still here."

"You don't even know me." 

"Well, how about we change that." 

Connor looked at Evan, confused. "My mom is always telling me to go and make friends. And I'm sorry but you really don't have any more than me. So, lets be friends. Even if you don't want to, we can pretend to be. To please our parents."

Connor sat silent, thinking. "That's a really good idea. Good job Hansen." 

"Connor?" 

It was Cynthia. Connor let go of Evan's hand once he heard her voice. The red hired woman rushed over to her son. 

"Oh, Connor I was so scared." Tears were running down her face and her breath was uneven. 

"Larry! Zoe! He's awake!" she said into the waiting room. 

Connor tensed as the rest of his family came into the room. The relaxed look was replaced with a cold, blank expression. 

"Connor. You're...alive." Zoe said standing at the end of his bed. 

Connor didn't say anything. The entire two hours Evan and his family were there. His parents would ask question after question. But he said nothing.

He went along with the story Evan told. About how they had been friends for a while. How Connor took him to the Orchard that summer day Evan broke his arm. 

And they believed it. Evan Zoe, who was shocked to hear such a story. 

But Evan couldn't keep his mind off Connor's mood shift. 

With just Evan it started with cold, but he soon warmed up. He would talk without a care in the world. But he still had the tired aura to him. Evan guessed that was the emotion from failing his attempt. 

But, with his family he was even colder. He wouldn't talk, only give a short nod as an answer. And he would always try to catch Evan's eye. 

As soon as the Murphys left Connor spoke again. 

"how long do I have to stay here?" He asked slamming his head into his pillow. 

Evan let out a soft chuckle. "Well, normally a person who has just attempted suicide will stay 72 hours after they wake up or are admitted. And then a week or so of therapy. For you I'm guessing about a week and a half."

Connor let out a whistle. "Damn. You a doctor or something?" 

Evan looked away from Connor. "Nah, my mom's a nurse's aid here. I've picked up a few things. When I was little she would bring me here and I would play when she was working. So, I kinda know the place like the back of my hand, and the staff."

Connor's face brightened up. "So, that means you can sneak me out of here?" 

Evan simply rolled his eyes. "Connor! That's illegal!" 

"Hey!" Connor said laughing too, "live a little!"

"Evan?" Evan and Connor turned their heads to the door. Heidi Hansen stood with a clipboard, wearing light green scrubs. 

"Oh hi mom." Evan said slightly cringing. He was hoping he would be caught. 

"Hello, Mrs. Hansen." Connor said with a small smile. Connor had met Heidi once before, when he first woke up. 

"What are you doing here?" She asked moving to stand next to the bed. 

"Oh, um. Connor and I are friends. I came to visit him." 

Heidi's face lit up with a smile. "Oh! How wonderful! I didn't know. I can get you two something to do if you'd like. Evan my shift is over in a few hours maybe, we can stop and get Lunch after?" 

Evan smiled and looked over at his mother. "I'd love that, thanks mom." 

Heidi ended up bringing the boys a stack of games and some decks of cards. They played Battle Ship, Go Fish, Connect Four, Exploding Kittens, and a few others. 

Two hours later Evan was in the car with his mom, singing along to some crappy pop song from 2003.

As Evan got ready for bed that night, Heidi was proud to see a real smile on her son's face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I can’t beilve that this story is this popular in such a short amount of time! Like geez! I appreciate y’all so much! I’m glad your enjoying my writing. ❤️
> 
> Also quick little fun fact: Connor’s room number, is the room my brother was in when he died. He’s okay now. If anyone is confused by that or wants to know more just leave a comment!


	4. Chapter 4: Hansen Household

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you guys like this chapter!   
> If anyone is wondering, I don’t have an update schedul because I am, like, the most unorganized person ever. Also I procrastinate a lot. Like a fuck load.   
> Anyway, ENJOY ❤️❤️❤️

Today was the day. Connor was finally getting out of the hospital. His family had left the responsibility of taking him home to Evan, seeing as they obviously cared about his wellbeing. Heidi had gladly let Evan borrow her car, so Evan just walked to the hospital an hour before Connor was free. 

"Connor, hon you have to hold still." A nurse said as Evan walked in the room. Connor seemed to be bouncing he was so happy. Not only was he going home, but he was going with a friend. A friend! 

"I can't!" Evan had never heard Connor so happy. Then again, most of the time he was stagnant and empty. But that's not something to think about in such a happy moment. 

"Connor, let the nice lady do her work." Evan chuckled setting the food he got for Connor next to the bed. 

"But I get to go home. And my family won't be there. But you will be! This is going to be great! I've wanted to play videogames with someone else for so long!" 

Evan let out another chuckle. He liked this side of Connor. It was almost childlike. For once he didn't seem like a suicidal teen. 

An hour later Evan was turning out of the hospital parking lot with an ecstatic Connor fumbling to play music. A few minutes later, at a stop light, Connor finally got some random music to play. It just happened to be Heathers: The Musical. A light blush dusted his cheeks as Evan glanced at him. 

"Didn't take you for a musical person." He said simply, watching the light turn green. 

Connor chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his neck. "Uh, yeah. I guess I'm not what people expect at all." He started fumbling with the pill bottle in his hands. 

Evan glanced to Connor again. Feeling the air grow heavy. At the next red light, he turned his attention to him. "Who ever said that was a bad thing? Being different." 

Connor's face scrunched up. "Society." 

"Well, take a note from The Book of Mormon and lift your middle finger to the sky." Evan turned back to the steering wheel, and mentally patted himself on the back for controlling his stuttering. 

Connor stared at Evan for the rest of the car ride, seeming to be in utter shock. 

The moment the Murphy house came into view Connor tensed. He had so many bad memories in this house that they seemed to outweigh the good. Evan could see Connor's mood change. He silently put a hand on his shoulder. Connor nodded and got out of the car. 

They walked up to the house and into the hall. Evan slipped his shoes off and followed Connor up the stairs. 

"Well, this is my room." He said tightly. Evan took a minute to soak in Connor. The blue bed sheets, the shelves littered with random stuff, the tv on the dresser. The sketchbooks and the cd's stacked on the desk. 

"Again it's-" 

"I- uh. I like it." Evan interrupted. 

"oh." Connor squeaked. "thanks." 

Evan sat on the desk chair and glanced at the pictures frames. There was a picture of the Murphy family, but the glass was broken. In fact, there was only one frame that wasn't damaged. It was a poloid of two small children. After a while Evan realized that it was Connor and Zoe. 

"I was eight. She was seven." Evan glanced behind his to see Connor looking at the picture. He was looking so intently, it was like he was in another world. A far-off memory maybe. 

"They used to take us to the apple orchard for picnics. Zoe and I used to run around, and pick flowers and my mom would braid them in our hair. Zoe would always look for blue and yellow. I would always go for the pink and orange. We would just sit and watch the clouds, race each other up trees." 

There was a small smile on his face. He was zoned out, staring at the wall. Until Evan ruined it. 

"What happened?" his voice was a whisper. Connor's face lost the smile. It contorted into an angry expression. 

"I did." He looked down and clenched his fists. "Everything went wrong. I got angry, I lost control. I hurt Zoe. I was horrified. My own sister. I hurt her Evan. I didn't know what to do. They treated me like a monster, and eventually it got so bad I stopped trying to prove them wrong. I started avoiding Zoe, so I wouldn't hurt her. Evan, I don't even know her anymore!" A tear rolled down is cheek. 

"Let's go." Evan said grabbing Connor's hand. 

"Where?" He asked shocked. 

"Somewhere where you won't remember these things. Get some clothes." 

Confused, but still crying, Connor started to put random clothes into a duffle bag. Then grabbing a sketchbook. He followed Evan to the car. 

Another car ride later and they were standing in the driveway of a small yellow house. Evan made a point to not look at Connor as he led him to the front door. He swung it open to reveal a warm living room with a fire place lit. a blonde woman was sitting on the couch, covered in a blanket, drinking from a steaming mug. She looked up and a warm smile crossed her face. 

"Hello dear." Connor walked through the door. "And Connor?" The Heidi stood up and walked over to the two. "Is everything okay?" 

Connor rubbed at his cheeks, still feeling the need to cry. "Uh-" Evan started to come up with an excuse, but Connor beat him to it. 

"No." 

"C'mere, Connor." Heidi said pulling Connor towards the couch while Evan started to make hot chocolate in the kitchen. 

"Tell me the problem dear." 

Connor stared at Heidi, like he was staring into her soul. A tear started to roll down his face. And then another, and then he couldn't stop it. He just broke, there in the Hansen living room, in Heidi's arms, while Evan sat beside him and draped a blanket on his shoulders. 

After a while Connor fell asleep. Heidi had gotten up to finish the laundry, she came back to see Evan adding little braids to Connor's hair as he slept on the couch. 

"So, his sister. She's the one who you like?" 

Evan's became a blushing a mess. He squeaked out a small yeah. 

"Evan." She started a basket on her hip. "Dear. Please-please tell me that you befriended Connor for the right reasons." 

"M-mom, of course I did. I, I became his friend because he needed one. And so did I." 

Just then Connors phone started ringing. Evan glanced at Connor and answered it. 

"Hello?" 

"Connor? Where are you? You just got out, why are you out again?" It was Cynthia. 

"Uh- oh my god. I'm so sorry. I took him to my house because he seemed so un- uncomfortable. I'm so, so, so, sorry. I should, should have asked." 

"Evan?" She let out a sigh. "It's okay. I was afraid that he had gotten into some trouble. Is he going to stay there for the night? Do I need to come get him? Is your mom there? I hope you aren't doing anything you don't want to." 

"Mrs. Murphy, don't- don't worry. I invited him. Yes, my mom is home. And I want him to stay over for a while. Get him used to- to being out of the hospital." 

"Oh, my. That's very sweet of you Evan. But you should know that Connor is a very difficult person to take care of. He doesn't let you help, and he gets angry easily. Not to mention that this isn't the first time-" 

"Im sorry what?"

"Excuse me?"

"What do you mean this isn't the first time?"

"Oh dear, you didn't know? This is the third second time Connor has tried to kill himself. He has threatened to do it about five times." 

Evan's jaw dropped. 

"Well! I have to make dinner, talk to you later sweetie!" And then she was gone. 

Evan set down the phone on the kitchen counter and leaned against it. Five times? He's threatened to kill himself five times, and they've done nothing?

"They sent me to rehab. It helped me for a while." Evan turned around to see a groggy Connor leaning on a wall. "I guess I couldn't take it anymore. They never saw past the high kid."

Evan sat on the counter and listened to Connor talk. About his parents, about Zoe, about that girl in his 10th grade English class, Alana. 

When Heidi came back from the store to change for school she found Connor hugging Evan while he sat on the counter. It was silent. But, being a mother Heidi could tell that Connor needed a home. So, before she left she put out a few pillows and another blanket for Connor and left a note, saying that Connor was always welcome in the Hansen Household.


	5. Chapter 5: Blaire Mayfield

Chapter V: Blaire Mayfield

Evan stared at the stars on his ceiling, as he's done for seven years. Connor had stayed the night last Sunday. It was the most fun Evan had had in forever. They had played some old Lego game on his Xbox 360, and talked, and read. In fact, Connor tried to teach Evan how to draw a tree. It didn't end well if you were wondering. 

Evan glanced towards the clock on his bedside table. 3:37 AM. 

"Oh great." Evan whispered to himself, sitting up. "I have to get up for school in two and a half hours." 

He grabbed his phone from under his pillow and started scrolling through random apps. When he got to Tumblr he found that a certain blog he followed was active. 

Acorn_Hansen: 

What are you doing awake? Aren't you going back to school today?

Connor, I know that you're awake. 

You're on your Tumblr. 

I follow you. 

CMurphy: 

Fuck. 

Well that didn't work. 

Hi. 

Acorn_Hansen: 

What are you doing? You're supposed to be asleep. 

CMurphy: 

I could say the same for you Hansen. 

Acorn_Hansen: 

Touché. 

CMurphy: 

I can't sleep. I'm nervous. 

I know that everyone knows about what I did. 

Its gonna suck Ev. 

Acorn_Hansen: 

Don't worry, ill be there to protect you. 

CMurphy: 

My hero. 

|o0o|

A few hours later Evan is standing by his locker, scrolling through some article about a guy from the Midwest going to jail for 400+ years or something. He looks up to see a pretty girl in a blue crew neck looking at him. 

She smiles at him and gives a small wave. Confused, Evan glances around, but she seems to be looking at him. He gives a small wave back, and her smile grows, before she turns back to the people around her. 

But, Evan's eyes stay on her. She seemed to be around his height, with dark brown hair, and tan skin. 

"Dude, stop drooling." 

Evan glances to his left to see non-other than the living meme himself, Jared. 

"Why are you staring at the cheerleaders?" 

"Those are the cheerleaders?" Evan asked looking back to the girl. She was laughing at something. It was almost mesmerizing. She threw her head back and her shoulders shook. 

"Yeah, didn't know you had a thing for them. Which one has your eye?" 

"Uh, the one in the jeans." 

Jared glanced over to the group across the hall then back to Evan. 

"Out of all them you choose Blaire?" 

"Blaire?" 

Jared stared at him wide eyed. "Dude, do you live under a rock? That's Blaire Mayfeild. Captain of the cheer team, head of the GSA, not to mention almost beat Alana Beck out for Student President."

"That's Blaire?" Evan realized in shock. "I thought she'd be paler. And blonder."

"That's stereotyping." A new voice said from behind the pair. 

"Hey Hot Topic!" 

Evan turned to see Connor standing beside him. He looked uncomfortable. His shoulders were tense, and Evan could tell that he was extremely self conscious. 

"Why are we talking about Blaire?" Connor asked looking towards the group as well. 

"She- um. She waved to me?" 

Jared and Connor stared at him in shock. 

"Are you sure he wasn't waving to someone else?" Jared asked. Normal people would be offended by such a comment, but it didn't bother Evan. Mostly because that was also his first thought. 

"No, I checked. She was waving at me."

"Get some!" Jared sang punching his shoulder. Evan's face lit up like a Christmas tree while Connor gave a light chuckle at the situation. 

Jared stared at Connor in shock. Then whispered to Evan. “I just made The Connor Murphy laugh?”  
Evan glanced at Connor, who was eyeing Blaire.   
“He’s trying. Go easy on him.” 

The bell rang signaling the start of classes. Jared swore and ran off yelling a goodbye behind him. Evan and Connor walked to their first hour talking about who knows what. 

|o0o|

At lunch Evan and Jared sat together like always. This time with the addition of Connor. 

"And so, I'm sitting in the closet thinking, I'm never going to get out of here! Because how was I supposed to know that NHS was going to have a meeting the same day I decided to skip seventh hour?"

Connor was telling an colorful story about how he tried to skip class freshman year and hide in the auditorium. 

"But, out of all places, why the auditorium?" Jared asked taking a swig of his Pepsi. 

"Crap. Ill be right back, I forgot a fork." Evan said standing up. He walked towards the table by the café, trying to avoid anyone. He got there but wasn't alone. 

"Hi!" 

Evan turned around quickly to see Blaire standing behind him. She walked up to the table and grabbed a few ketchup packets. 

"Uh-. Hi?"

"I'm Blaire. You're Evan, right?"

Evan played with a loose end on his cast. 

"You know my name?" 

Blaire tilted her head, similar to how Connor does. "I know everyone's names. Like over there." She pointed to his table. "That's your table. That's Jared Kleinman and Connor Murphy." 

"I, um. I didn't know you knew who we were. I mean you're a cheerleader and all. And your pretty and popular." He cut himself off. He was not helping his nerves. 

Blaire chuckled and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Well, I know what it's like to be a nobody. It sucks. So, I try to know everyone, because no one should be alone." 

Evan looked at her. Then back to her table. In a world full of mean words and bleached hair, she stuck out like a sore thumb. 

"There's a reason that some of us are alone though." He muttered. 

"Like what? I don't think any reason is enough for someone to deserve loneliness."

"But why?" He asked, to curious to remember what was happening. 

"Because, the things that make you strange are the things that make you powerful." Blaire said looking directly into Evan's eyes. 

He then watched as she walked back to her table and sat down, joining a conversation with her friends. Evan walked to him table and sat down astounded. 

"Dude," He looked at Jared. "Where's your fork?"


	6. Chapter 6: Murphy Sibling Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Zoe have a talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, you may have noticed by now, that i suck at updating on a schedule. Sorry.....

Soft musical played in the background as Connor sat on his bed, lightly sketching something. There was a soft knock at his door, slightly startling him. He put the pencil behind his ear and sat up.   
Taking a deep breath, he called a small Come in.  
The door opened slowly, and Zoe carefully walked in. She was wringing her hands and wouldn’t look at Connor.  
“Hi.” He whispered.  
“Uh. Hi?”  
He motioned for the desk chair across from his bed and she slowly made her way to it.   
“So, uh. What’s up?”   
Zoe opened and closed her mouth. She seemed to be at war with herself.   
“I want things to be different.” She said bunt, but softly.   
“I do too.”  
“I-“ she stopped herself.   
“Do you remember when we would sneak into the backyard as kids?”  
Zoe looked up shocked. “Yeah. We would stay out there, lying in the grass, staring at the stars, for hours.” She closed her eyes and took deep breath.   
“and I learned as many stars and constellations as I could, so I could try and teach you.”   
Zoe’s eyes shot open. “You did? I had just assumed that you were some sort of space nerd!”   
Connor closed his eyes and let out a chuckle. “You’re the only space nerd!”  
“No I’m not!” Zoe smirked at her brother. “You know, like, all the constellations!”   
Connor put a hand over his heart, “How dare you!”  
The siblings sat in the mood for a few minutes before Zoe’s face fell.   
“Things wont ever be like they were.” Connor said hugging himself, reading her thoughts.   
“I know. But we both won’t be like we were.”  
“I-“ Connor chocked on his words. “I am so fucking sorry, Zo. You didn’t deserve the way I treated you. I just-“ He stopped himself, sinking his head into his knees.  
“I’m at fault here too.” Zoe said, hugging herself as well. “I didn’t handle things well. I never wanted to fight. I just wanted us to be close.”  
Tears were streaming down her face as she stared at the walls of Connor’s room. There were holes scattered around the drywall where Connor had punched trying to not take out his anger on his family.   
“I want to go to the orchard. And pick flowers. And climb trees. And make flower crowns. And fly kites and laugh when dad gets them stuck in a tree. And sneak out again. Into the backyard. I want to feel that way again, I want to listen to musicals with you. And laugh at youtube videos. And stay up all night in the summer to have long talks. I want to be close.”  
She tried to take a breath, but it sounded more like a sob. Connor had tears running down his face as well, by this point.   
“I want-“ He started through the tears. “I want to go to the park. And sing duets to Disney songs. I want to go see movies together and whisper things to each other the whole time. I want to cry along to Carrie Underwood songs together at 3AM. I want to talk about boyfriends and girlfriends together. I want to do each other’s nails. And to braid hair. And to go to the mall and criticize the people and the clothing. And to go to coffee shops and talk for hours over empty coffee cups. To talk about colleges together because we are both so fucking scared of the future.” He had to stop because of the sobs also shaking his body.   
The Murphy siblings looked at each other through teary eyes and seemed to have the same thought. They both got up at the same time and ran to each other. Engulfing the other in a hug that has been long over do.   
They stayed like that for a while. Just holding each other, saying what they needed to through the tears.   
Eventually they fell to the floor, still hugging. Connor was the first to pull away. He wiped at his eyes and gave his sister a week smile.   
“So, tell me.” He said with a wet chuckle. “Is there any boy I need to beat up?”  
Zoe also let out a laugh through her tears. “No, there’s no boy.” She wiped at her eyes and gave connor a smile.   
“But, there is this girl. In my English class.”


	7. Chapter 7: Skates Diner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan is relentlessly teased.  
> A group chat is started.  
> Zoe knows some stuff about cars.  
> Evan and Zoe talk.

Its been a few weeks since Connor has been released from the hospital. Things have started to look up.  
He and Zoe don’t fight like they used to, though they do disagree. Connor and Evan are so close it seems like they’ve known each other for years. And Connor seems to be overall happier. There is still an off day every now and then, but if were being honest, who doesn’t have them.  
“Evan!” Connor whispered to said blond. Evan glanced up from his book to look at Connor from across their library table.  
“What?” He whispered back.  
Connor pointed to something behind Evan. He sighed and turned around to see Blaire talking with a tall blonde boy.  
Evan turned his head back to Connor and glared. After Evan had confessed his feelings to Zoe, but was turned down, Connor and Jared have been trying to set him up with random girls. But, Blaire is a reoccurring option.  
“I don’t know what has gotten into you guys.” Evan said, still whispering, leaning to talk to Connor. Jared, who was sitting next to Connor also leaned in.  
“What do you mean Tree Boy?”  
“Why are you guys obsessed with Blaire?”  
“We’re not,” Jared defended. “You are.”  
Evan rolled his eyes, but a slight blush was visible. “You guys are insane.”  
“No, we’re not.”  
“I don’t even know what you guys are talking about.”  
Connor and Jared shared a look before returning to their school work. Evan sighed and glanced behind him again. Blaire and the unknown guy were still talking by the mythology section. Blaire was pretty, and she seemed really nice. Maybe trying to get to know her wouldn’t be that bad.  
|o0o|  
“Hey Evan!” Evan looked up to see Zoe approaching him from the other end on the hallway. After Zoe rejected him, they had a talk. Evan realized that his crush wasn’t really full lived, so he opted for friendship instead. After all, if he liked her enough to consider her a partner, then they can be great friends.  
“Hi Zoe.”  
“I was wondering if you wanted to hang out after Theater today?’  
Evan liked that idea. “Yeah sure, what’re you thinking.”  
“Well, a group of us normally gets dinner at Skates downtown, wanna join? I’m sure Williams wont mind if you sit in on rehearsal.”  
Evan thought for a moment. Before Zoe said, “Don’t think about it too much Ev.”  
He nodded his head and got out his phone to text his mom. Evan liked that his friends knew when he was stuck in his own brain. Zoe understands it the most. She has struggled with mental heath like the rest of them, but people wouldn’t assume that from her bravado.  
Heidi texted back with a yes and a heart and off to the auditorium they went.  
When they got there Evan took in the sight. There were people on the stage painting set pieces, a group of people was fighting about something in the orchestra pit, and when Evan looked back he could see a group of people messing around in the sound booth.  
“It’s a sight, isn’t it?” Zoe asked from her place next to him.  
“So, uh. What do you do? How do you help?”  
Zoe chuckled and pointed to the pit. “I play guitar for the musicals. But sometimes I help with mics before the show.”  
Evan nodded and listened to Zoe talk about the songs she had to play, and what everyone did.  
Evan felt comfortable until the door banged open and in sprinted the pair from earlier. Blaire and her blonde friend. Evan’s face heated up quite a lot, and he wasn’t quick to hide it.  
“Blaire!” Zoe called. Evan gave her a panicked look as Blaire and the blond came up to them.  
“Hey Zo! Hi Evan. This is my friend Zander, I don’t think you guys have met yet.”  
Zander was only a few inches taller than Evan, but he seemed to bad RBF*, making him intimidating.  
Evan said hi to both of them before going to sit in a chair. He got out his phone and tried to look busy.  
While scrolling through Instagram someone texted him.  
CMurphy:  
You busy?  
Im bored.  
Acorn_Hansen:  
Uh, kind of? Im at theater with Zoe.  
CMurphy:  
Youre at theater?  
Acron_Hansen:  
Yes.  
Why?  
CMurphy added Memebomb and AlanaBeck to the conversation.  
CMurphy:  
Guys.  
Evan is at theater.  
Memebomb:  
NO WAY  
AlanaBeck:  
Wow, Evan. I didn’t expect you to make a move so quickly.  
Acorn_Hansen:  
WHAT?  
What are you guys talking about?  
Alanabeck:  
You’re at theater, with Blaire.  
Ive been informed by Connor, Zoe, and Jared that you have a crush on said cheerleader.  
Acorn_Hansen:  
WHAT?!?!?!?!?  
Well, you’ve been informed wrong. I don’t have any feelings towards Blaire.  
AlanaBeck added ZozoMurph to the groupchat.  
ZozoMurph:  
Why am I here?  
CMurphy:  
Evan says that he doesn’t have any feelings towards Blaire.  
ZozoMurph:  
BULL-Fucking-SHIT  
When she walked up to us he started blushing  
Acorn_Hansen:  
ZOE  
Memebomb:  
I KNEW IT  
CMurphy:  
Nice try Ev. You cant lie to us that easily.  
Evan turned off his phone before he could read anymore texts. He looked up to see Zoe smirking at him from her seat in the pit. He scowled, thinking about how alike Zoe and Connor’s smirks are.  
He shook his head slightly and turned to the stage. Zander and a girl with bright red hair were practicing a scene together. They both seemed to be good actors. Although Zander looked slightly uncomfortable talking to her. Maybe they were exes? Or maybe he just didn’t like her.  
“Hey Evan!” Evan turned his head to look next to him. Blaire had just plopped down in the seat next to him.  
“Uhh- hi?” Why was Blaire sitting next to him? What was happening?  
“Are you in theater? I don’t think I’ve seen you at any other rehearsal, or on any lists.”  
Evan was sure that his hands were sweaty. “Oh- uh no. I, um. Zoe-she invited me to go to, uh, Skates after?”  
“Oh right.” Blaire said smiling. “Yeah it’s a weekly thing. Every Friday we head down there to celebrate the week being over. Im glad your coming. I don’t think I can handle another Friday dinner with Zander and Zoe.”  
Evan let out a nervous laugh. “So- uh. Are you and Zander- like….together?” His words were a jumbled mess.  
Blaire let out a breathy laugh. “Oh god no. Zander is my best friend. I don’t think I could manage ever dating him. Not to mention he’s way to gay for that.”  
Evan was becoming a tad bit more relaxed, but his mind was still screaming at him for having a legit conversation with a cheerleader. And a pretty one at that.  
“Oh, hes gay?”  
“yeah.” Blaire had a smile, but it slipped as she looked at Evan. “Okay but if your Homophobic then were gonna have a problem. Cause I’m head of the GSA and I will beat you up-“  
“Im not homophobic. Im actually Bi! I just didn’t know is all.”  
“Oh. Thank God. I don’t know what I would have down if I had to beat you up.”  
Evan let out a chuckle.  
“So, your Bi?” He froze. Holy shit he had said that. That’s the first person besides his mom and Jared that hes come out to.  
“Uhh. Y-yeah.”  
“Cool. Don’t be so nervous bud. I’m pan, if it helps.” Blaire tilted her head again, like how Connor does.  
“Yeah. That- That actually does help.”  
The rest of the time spent was Evan watching Zander, Blaire, and the red head girl go through scenes. It turns out that Red, the nickname Evan gave the girl, is supposed to be Zander’s love interest. But is also having a hard time because she’s Aro Ace.  
After Zoe packed up her things Evan followed her to the parking lot, listening to her complain about the trumpet who needed to work on his volume level.  
Zoe’s car didn’t really seem to fit her personality. She seemed like the type to own a random car and be fine. But it surprised Evan when she lead him to a red 2010 covetable Ford Mustang.  
“This is your car?” He asked settling into the passenger seat.  
“Yup!” She had a proud smile on her face. “Connor got a Jeep and I got a Mustang. We also have a Rav 4, but we don’t use it that often.”  
“Is the Rav your moms car?” Evan asked as Zoe pulled out of the student parking lot.  
“Nah, my mom has a Malibu and my dad has a Sequoia. Connor and I chare the Rav.”  
“Wow, you now a lot more about cars than I do.” Evan said enjoying the fall air in his hair.  
“Only what I’ve picked up from my dad and uncle. What kind of car do you have?”  
Evan glanced at Zoe. “I don’t have one.”  
“Why not?”  
“Not everyone is rich enough to own a freaking Mustang, Zoe.” He said with a bit of a bite.  
Zoe stopped the car at a stop light. “Wow. I didn’t know you could say something that mean.”  
“Oh my god im sorry. I didn’t mean it. Oh my god. Im sorry.”  
Zoe shot his a deadpanned look. “I was impressed your ruining it.”  
“Sorry.”  
She turned right, pulling off of the main road.  
“You know, you don’t have to keep apologizing. Were friends Evan.”  
There was a small silence, before Zoe sighed and looked at him. “You really want to say it again don’t you?”  
“Very much so, yes.” Evan rushed out.  
“Evan.” Zoe spoke sternly, pulling into a parking spot in front of Skates Diner.  
“You do not have to apologize to me. I know that it can be hard sometimes with your anxiety,” She took his hand in hers. “But, I promise you, I do not care. You are a great guy, okay? I know things have kind of been awkward since I told you about Alana. But, I want you to know that you’re already one of my best friends.”  
Evan let out a sign and then a chuckle.  
“I guess I’ve been over thinking everything.”  
“I gathered that. Now come on, I want a milkshake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Resting Bitch Face
> 
> So, this is a tad bit over due. Sorry.  
> I was gonna write more for this chapter, because i dont know about you guys, but i really like long chaptered fics. and this chapter is almost 2000 words itself.  
> Do you guys want me to write to diner scene or do you want to get on with the story?  
> I really hope that you guys are enjoying my writing!  
> I have a tumblr if anyone is interested. its : galaxy-trees13  
> Comment, Kudos, Whatever. i love you all!  
> PEACE!!!!!!  
> -Silver


	8. Chapter 8: Mayfield Ranch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang has a small party at Blaire's place

November brought a lot of changes for the gang. Blaire and Zander started hanging out with them more, Jared and Zander have become annoyingly close, Zoe and Alana are so in love it’s painful (but both are oblivious).  
The biggest changes had to be with Evan and Connor themselves though. Evan has become more confident, more outgoing. He’s not as quiet as he once was, and people are slowly learning how sarcastic he is. Connor has learned to control himself more. He doesn’t have as many outbursts and he doesn’t bottle up his emotions as much.   
The boys aren’t perfect, but they’re getting better.   
It was a Friday morning, foggy and cold. Evan, Jared, and Zander were leaning against Evan’s locker. Jared and Zander were arguing about some tv show and Evan was waiting for Connor. The group was supposed to be going to Blaire’s house tonight for a little party.   
“All I’m saying is Jon and Danny shouldn’t be together!” zander huffed crossing his arms.  
“Why not! They fit perfect together! Your just jealous! You want to sleep with Emilia!” Jared whispered accusingly.   
“Oh my god, no! I am way to gay for that!” Zander said rubbing at his eyes.  
“What are they arguing about?”   
Evan turned to see Connor and Zoe walking towards them, each with a coffee cup.  
“You guys are almost late.” Evan said taking Connor’s cup. Connor let out a sign but didn’t protest.  
“Nah, we’re fine. You ready for tonight?” Zoe asked looking down the hallway, probably for Alana.   
Evan checked his watch and then pointed to the ceiling as the waning bell rung.   
“Whatever.” Connor grumbled taking his cup back from Evan. “We’re here so it doesn’t matter.”  
Evan shouldered his bag and walked to his first class, practically bouncing in excitement for that night.   
|o0o|  
“Are you ready to party?” Blaire yelled sprinting out the school doors into the parking lot, Zander and Jared right behind her.   
Connor and Zoe shared an amused look as they walked to Connor’s Jeep, Alana walking behind them texting on her phone.   
“Evan you can ride with me. Zander is taking Jared to his house ‘cause he forgot something.” Blaire said smiling at Evan.   
Evan smiled and nodded, blushing a little. Blaire owned a white Volkswagen Beetle with a trail of blue paw prints on the back window.   
Evan fidgeted nervously with the strap of his bag as Blaire started the car, the radio blaring at top volume.   
Evan covered his ears as Blaire punched the radio, turning it off.  
“Do you normally listen to music that loud in the morning?” Evan asked breathlessly.   
Blaire let out a little laugh, “No. zander and I are in the middle of a prank war. He must have swiped my keys and done it during his free period.” She leaned her head on the steering wheel and laughed.   
“I hate him.” She said putting the car in reverse.  
“How did you two become friends?” Evan asked watching the trees pass as they cruised down the highway.  
“We’re neighbors. He lives across the street from me. We became best friends when we were little. Our parents are like best friends.”  
“That’s cool.”   
“What about you and Connor? You guys are close, how long have you been friends?”  
“Only a few months.”  
“What?” Blaire glanced at Evan turning onto a long dirt road.“It seems like you guys are as close as Zan and I. geez.”  
“I guess we were meant to be friends.”  
“Do you believe in fate? That if something happens then it was meant to?” She asked quietly.   
“I don’t know. I’ve never really thought of that.”  
“Welp. Here we are.”   
Blaire’s house was a three-story red farm house with a barn behind it. With a fence far back against the tree line. Evan could barely make it out.   
“wow.”   
“Yeah, it’s kinda a lot.”  
“I love it.” Evan reassured giving Blaire a smile.  
As they walked inside Evan could tell that a lot of people lived there. There were pictures lining every wall that could hold them, and random belongings scattered around the house.   
“My room is the attic, we’ll be sleeping there tonight. Want a snack while we wait for the others?”   
“Sure.” She led Evan into the kitchen and took a glass bowl of fruit from the fridge. She took off the top and took a handful of grapes.   
“Hey.” She said after a minute. “Can you catch grapes in your mouth?”  
“Uh, no. Can you?”   
Evan watched as Blaire smirked, and put her dark hair into a ponytail.   
“Watch this.” She said simply before taking another handful of grapes from the bowl.   
Evan was amazed as Blaire threw up grapes one after the other, not missing a single one.   
“How did you do that?” He asked chucking.   
“My sister and I got really good at it cause we wanted to be better than the other. Throw me one.”  
Evan glanced at her and tried to ignore the voices in his head. He took a grape and tossed it in her direction.   
Another chuckle of enjoyment escaped him as he watched Blaire catch it. Smiling while chewing the grape.   
“These are really good grapes.” He said taking a few.   
“Thanks, Zander’s mom grows them. We trade her my apples for them.” She hopped up onto the counter by the fridge and took down a box from the top.   
“Here, try.” She tossed Evan a half yellow half red apple.   
Evan took a cautious bite. The apple was crisp and sweet.   
“This is really good! Wow!”  
Blaire beamed at him from the counter. “Thanks! I work hard to keep them good.”  
“Honey, I’m home!” Zander yelled bursting through the front door. Behind him an amazed Jared holding a very annoyed looking cat.   
“Oh, are the apples ready?” Zander asked running to take the crate from Blaire, who pushed it in Zanders’ hands to stumble towards Jared.   
“Onyx! Hello buddy!” Blaire said taking the cat into her arms and spinning him around. Onyx was an all-black cat with bright green eyes. “Where’s Jynx?” She asked Zander.  
“Guys? Whose cat is this? It won’t get off me!” Connor said walking into the house, Zoe and Alana trying to cover their laughter behind him.   
Another black cat was perched on Connor’s shoulders. This one had bright blue eyes.   
“Found her!” Zander yelled, mouth full of apple.   
“C’mere Jynx!” Blaire said laughing. Jynx jumped from Connor’s shoulders to rest on Blaire’s while Onyx did the same. Now she had a black cat on either shoulder and a smile that could make the joker jealous.   
“I’m so happy that you guys could all come! I haven’t done something like this in a long time.”  
“Of course, Blaire. This is going to be so much fun!” Zoe said catching an apple that Zander tossed to her.   
“What are we going to do first?” Connor asked catching his own apple.  
“Blaire and Zander shared a glance. “How ‘bout a tour of the Mayfield Ranch?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, sorry about this taking so long. 
> 
> Comments are always cherished and appreciated!   
> Kudos as well!
> 
> Thanks for reading!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥


	9. Chapter 9: A Fun Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a tour of the Mayfield Ranch.  
> Some background on Blaire and her family.   
> Some oblivious Galaxy Gals/Zolana is thrown in there.   
> And an unexpected ending.   
> or maybe you expected it, i dont know.

“Okay,” Blaire said clapping her hands together. She had brought them to the end of the driveway, to give them “the best tour imaginable”.  
“So, this is Mayfield Ranch. The place where I grew up.” They walked forward until they reached the house.   
“This is the house, obviously. Over there to our left is the playset that was put up when I was six. Behind that is the chicken coop. We have eight chickens. They’re all named after marvel characters.”  
“Which characters?” Jared asked walked towards the fence.   
“Uh, if I have it right it’s; Clint, Steve, Tony, Natasha, Thor, Bruce, Peter, and Bucky. Right B?” Zander chimed in taking a stop next to Jared, who seemed to be out of his element.   
“That’s right!” Blaire said giving Zander a high hive. She turned to see Zoe and Connor’s confused faces.   
“This is the first time he’s named them all correctly.” Zoe giggled, and Connor nodded, a small smile on his face.   
“Oh! This is the barn!” Blaire said running towards the big red building. She pulled open one of the doors with a huff.   
“You got it?” Alana asked from her place next to Zoe.   
“Huh? Oh yeah. I’ve been doing this since I was ten. Come on in.” The group followed Blaire into the barn. It seemed like any other normal barn. It was musty inside and smelled of animals.   
“We keep all kinds of things here. The hay and some produce are upstairs, along with an extra bedroom. We don’t use it though. If someone comes home after curfew and the door is locked, they have to sleep up there.” She explained switching on the lights.   
“How many people live here?” Alana asked. Like Jared she didn’t seem uncomfortable, just out of her element. Her and Jared were very tech savvy it made sense that they wouldn’t be a farmer type person, Evan supposed.   
“Okay, um. Me, my dads. My two older sisters, my two younger sisters, and my two younger brothers. So, nine.”  
“Jesus Christ!” Jared whistled looking into a stall.   
“Is that not normal?” Blaire asked taking a seat on a hay bale. She fit in surprisingly well with the barn. Her dark hair pulled into a pony tail. She was wearing jeans, boots, and a blue flannel.   
“I have six siblings, so its normal to me.” Zander said leaning against a stall door.   
“Connor and I are the only kids in the house.” Zoe said, motioning to her brother.   
“I’m and only child.” Evan said taking a seat next to Blaire.   
“I have two older sisters, but they’re out of college and married.”  
“I’m with Evan. Only child.” Jared said leaning against the same wall as Zander.   
Though, he scrambled away just as quickly.   
“You okay?” Connor asked, stifling a laugh.   
“What’s in there?” Jared asked breathless, as the people around him chuckled.   
The head of a horse popped up from the shadows. It was grey with a white star on its forehead.   
“Oh yeah. This is Madison. In the stall to the right is Sugar.” Another horse head came into view upon Blaire’s voice.   
“And in that stall,” Zander said pointing to one in the far corner, “Is Petunia.”  
“Who names a horse Petunia?” Jared sked scoffing. He seemed to be embarrassed.   
“Well, Petunia is a cow so.” Zander shouldered Jared, smirking at him.   
“What other animals do you have?” Zoe asked rolling her eyes at the boys.   
“There is this old duck couple that lives at the lake in the backyard.”  
“You have a lake in your backyard?” Evan asked amazed.   
“Yeah. There’s a forest by it. Sometimes I ride Sugar on the trails. Madison likes the field more than the forest though.”  
“Can we see?” Zoe asked, she was trying to be polite, but the ranch was amazing! Zoe loved the outdoors and being at a place like this was like a playground.   
“Of course! Right this way Ms. Murphy! Zander, can you do me a favor and let the horses out? Jared will you help him?” Blaire called while walking towards the side door or the barn. “Thanks!” she said without letting wither of them answer.   
“Why did you do that? Jared doesn’t know what he’s doing.” Evan asked walking besides Blaire. Zoe and Alana were in front of them, racing to the edge of the water.   
“She’s trying to get them alone Ev.” Connor spoke up from his left side.   
“Why?” Evan asked dumbly.  
“I’ve seen the way they interact.” Blaire chimed in resting her arms on her head. “They totally like each other. They’re just too oblivious. Just like the Lesbian and Bi disasters up ahead.” She said motioning to Zoe and Alana.   
Alana has seemed to relax more than others would have thought. Her and Zoe had taken their shoes and socks off and were running and splashing around in the shallows of the lake.   
“Oh my god, you’re right.” Connor said watching his sister. “She is so gone.”   
“Yeah.” Evan said with a small smile. He knew about Zoe’s and Alana’s feelings. They both had decided that he was trustworthy. “They really are.”   
|o0o|  
After screwing around for a few hours, they decided that it was time for dinner. Blaire and Alana made lasagna as the rest of the group fought over what movie to watch.   
Eventually they settled on Jurassic Park, and ate in peace.   
Blaire explained that her parents were visiting her grandparents with the four youngest kids, Jackson, Emily, Opal, and Aidan. The other two, Amber and Riley, were at a school event, and wouldn’t be home all weekend.   
After the movie they made their way up to the attic, Blaire’s room. The walls were painted blue. String lights were hung up on every wall, and posters and drawing decorated the walls. She had a bed, a desk, a bookshelf, a dresser with a tv on top, and bean bags scattered around the floor.   
Zoe, Alana, and Blaire got into a lengthy discussion about décor right away. While the boys each claimed a bean bag.   
“So how long have you and Blaire been a thing?” Connor asked.   
Zander threw his head back and laughed. “Oh my god, you have it all wrong.! Blaire and I are just friends. I’m way to gay for any of that.”   
“Oh.” Connor stuttered. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to assume.”   
“Nah, your fine bro. we get that all the time. Especially when we went to the city for pride last summer. You wouldn’t believe the amount of people who thought we were together.”  
“Your gay?” Jared asked looking up from his phone.   
“yeah. Is that the only thing you got from that exchange?”   
Jared scoffed and went back to his phone.   
Zander then got a serious look on his face. “None of you are homophobic right? Cause if you are Blaire is gonna have to beat you up.”   
“No!” Connor said quickly. “God no, that would be such an oxymoron. Wait, would she actually beat someone up?”  
“yeah.” Zander said with a laugh. Jared had put his phone down and was avidly listening now.   
“Sophomore year she punched a kid in the face because he made a comment. She got suspended for three days. But to this day if you ask she still says that it was worth it.”  
“Guys!” Zoe called from the bed.   
All four turned to look at the girls.   
“You guys wanna play Paranoia?”   
“What’s that?” Evan asked as the girls dragged more beanbags over to form a circle.   
“Okay. So,” Connor started when everyone sat down. “Paranoia is a game. I don’t really know how to… oh okay. So, I’ll whisper a question in Zoe’s ear, and she’ll say the answer out loud. And then she’ll flip a coin. If its heads, then she has to say what the question was. But, if its tails then the question remains a mystery.”   
“But of course, you get three passes for questions you don’t want to answer, no questions asked.”  
The game started with Connor whispering in Zoe’s ear, just like the example.   
Zoe let out a sigh and looked at the ground. “No.” She said simply. Connor glared at her and watcher her flip a coin.   
Heads.   
Zoe sighed again. “He asked if I auditioned for the musical. For an acting part.”   
“Like she said she would.” Connor cut in. Zoe rolled her eyes and leaned towards Alana whispering something in her ear.   
Alana smiled brightly and said confidently, “Yes.”  
She flipped the coin. Tails.   
There was a series of yes’ and no’s from everyone until it got to Evan for a third time.   
“Do you have a crush on anyone?” Blaire whispered in his ear.   
Evan blushed red and didn’t look at anyone. He squeaked out a “yes”, and flipped the coin.   
Heads. Evan was mortified as Everyone gasped.   
“I asked if he liked anyone,” Blaire said sensing Evan wasn’t going to say it.   
The next round Evan used one of his passes.   
“Who do you like?” Blaire had whispered in his ear. He couldn’t say the answer in front of her. It wasn’t even a full-blown crush, but he did really like spending time with Blaire. With her quirky attitude and love of fruit. She was someone he could really see himself with in the future.   
Blaire seemed disappointed but didn’t push.   
Later that night after Connor and Jared fought over Mario cart, and Zoe, Alana, and Zander gossiped about the drama of the school, everyone had fallen asleep. Jared and Zander had claimed s pile of bean bags, Zoe and Alana stole the bed, and Connor had found a sleeping bag in the closet.   
Evan was sitting in a wooden chair on the balcony when Blaire walked out, holding a water bottle.   
“It’s a nice night.” She said sitting in the chair next to him.   
He was too tired for his anxiety to kick in, but for some reason he couldn’t fall asleep.   
“Yeah, its so pretty.”   
“Trouble sleeping?” Evan asked after a while of silence.   
“I guess. I have insomnia, so its nothing new.” She answered looking at Evan.   
“I don’t know why I’m awake. I’m really tires, but I can’t seem to fall asleep.”  
Blaire nodded her head in understanding and glanced back to her room. Jared still had her Pansexual Pride flag wrapped around him from a dare. Zoe and Alana were cuddling on the bed and everything just seemed right with the world.   
She opened her mouth to say something and then closed it again.   
“What?” Evan asked leaning towards her.  
“What?” She asked startled.   
“You want to say something.” It wasn’t a question.  
“I don’t want to ruin the moment.” She said fiddling with her water bottle.   
Evan was shocked, in the weeks he’s known Blaire, he has never once seen her nervous.   
“You won’t ruin anything.” Evan says quietly putting his hand on hers. He wasn’t sure where the burst of confidence came from, but he was glad it was there.   
“Will you go on a date with me?” She asked quietly.   
Evan’s mouth fell open. He was not expecting that.   
“It’s okay if you don’t want to I didn’t plan on asking you tonight. Its just-“  
“Yeah.” He cut her off. Finally understanding what others went through with him. “Yes ill go out with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been almost a month, and this is really over due. I really don't know why it took so long, I'm really sorry.   
> The only excuse I can come up with is that I'm a horrible person.   
> I hope you like this chapter.   
> And i cherish every Kudos and Comment.   
> I would really appreciate some feed back so i can make this story more appealing. Who knows maybe if you request a chapter ill write it! (I do have a Oneshot work if you have other Ships)  
> Thank you guys so much for reading! I love each and every one of you!  
> Tumblr: galaxy-trees13  
> Instagram; galaxy_trees  
> (Im more active on my tumblr)


	10. 10: Fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor comes to a (not so) shocking realization.

Zoe sat on On Evan’s bed watching Evan pace around her room. Connor sat in his desk chair, flipping through a black hardcover book.   
“Oh god what if i heard her wrong and this isn’t a date?” Evan mumbled.  
“Nope.” Connor answered automatically.   
“What if I’m late?”  
“She’s picking you up here.” Zoe said.   
“What I don’t dress fancy enough?”  
“Well, if you would stop worrying i could help you.”   
Evan paused for a moment and stared Zoe down.   
“Have you met me?” He asked.   
Connor dropped his book and snorted.   
“Oh- wait that sounded mean.” Evan tried to correct himself. But, seeing Connor and Zoe laughing made him stop.   
“Dont. I’m impressed, don't ruin it.” Connor choked between laughs.   
Evan let out a little chuckle then took a deep breath.   
“Okay, I’m ready.” He said to Zoe.   
Zoe, still giggling, rolled off the bed and walked over to Evan’s closet.   
“Okay, i'm thinking khakis and that blue striped polo with- uh. Whatever shoes, just make sure they aren't gross.”   
Evan chuckled and did as Zoe told him. Connor watched as Evan disappeared into the bathroom and picked his book back up.   
“You okay bro?” Zoe asked eyeing her brother carefully.   
“What do you mean?”  
“I donno, you just seem,” she paused. “Off.”   
“I’m sure it’s nothing. I’m probably just tired.” He answered. Was he acting weird? He hadn’t noticed anything off about his mood. Maybe Zoe was reading into things too deep.   
“Well? How do I look?” Evan asked coming out of the bathroom a few minutes later.   
Zoe looked him up and down and snorted.  
“What?” Evan asked playing with his cast.   
“No, no, you look great! But, your hair needs help, bud.”   
Connor looked up and smirked. Evan’s hair was standing up in every direction.   
Evan’s ears colored. He sat down on his bed and let Zoe mess with his hair. Connor stared at the two of them over the edge of his book.   
“What are you reading Connor?”   
“Oh- uh. It’s called The Naming. It’s from a series.”  
“Oh, is it that fantasy series you were telling me about?”   
Connor’s eyes widened. He didn’t Evan was paying attention to him during that conversation, so the fact that he remembered it… Connor felt his heart swell. He was really happy that he befriended Evan.   
“She’ll be here any minute!” Heidi said from the doorway.   
Connor looked at Heidi and his heart swelled. He loved Heidi. Since that day when she basically adopted him. How she loves Evan with all of her being, and how she would do anything for her son.   
“I am so proud of you, you know that?” She asked taking his head in her hands.   
Connor and Zoe shared a look. They both wished their mother was this loving. Yes, Cynthia loved them, they didn’t doubt it, but neither sibling was sure when they last received a hug from their mother.   
Evan was standing with his arms wrapped around Heidi. A smile graced his lips and he seemed relaxed for the first time that night.   
Heidi opened her eyes and smiled at Zoe and Connor.   
“Don’t think you can get out of this. Come here.” She opened her arms. Evan smiled at the two and did the same.   
The siblings were hesitant. Connor broke first, standing up and letting Heidi wrap an arm around him. Zoe in the other.   
“I’m so proud of you two, as well.”   
Connor rested his head on Heidi’s shoulder and smiled. He could pretend, just for a little, that nothing is wrong with the world. Yeah, he could do that.   
The sudden sound of the doorbell made all of them jump. A giggle erupted from the group.   
“I better go get that.” Heidi said. She gave the kids one last smile before headed down the stairs.   
“You ready for this?” Connor asked putting a hand on Evan’s shoulder.   
“Is that even a question?” Evan asked with a smile.   
Zoe put her arm around Evan’s shoulder and giggled. “Let’s go meet your girl.”   
Evan’s ears colored again, but the smile on his face showed that he was excited.   
Blaire stood in the doorway. She was wearing jeans and a nice sweater.   
Her and Heidi were laughing about something.   
“Hey Blaire!” Zoe called sliding down the banister and landing on the linoleum.   
Everyone smiled and lightly applauded her.   
“Hey Z. Hi Connor!” Blaire turned her attention to Evan and her smile softened. “Hi, Ev.”   
“I don’t want to be an overbearing mother, but do you mind if I get a few pictures?”   
Blaire giggled. “Of course Mrs. Hansen!”   
Connor watched as Evan and Blaire started doing ridiculous poses together. (It took a few minutes for Evan to join in, but who's counting?)   
“Zoe, get in here!” Blair called from Evan’s back. Zoe smiled and ran to the duo.   
“You too Connor!” Blaire added looking to him.   
“I’m good. Thanks though.” He responded. Pictures weren’t really his forte.   
“C’mon, Con!” Zoe pouted.  
Connor looked away from his sister’s puppy dog eyes and into Evan’s pine green ones.   
“Please?” He asked quietly. Connor closed his eyes and let out an over dramatic sigh.   
“If i must.”   
When he opened his eyes he could have sworn his heart stopped. Evan was giving him the most beautiful smile.   
“Only one,” he added, stalking over to the group. He didn’t he could handle it if Evan kept smiling at him like that.   
“Okay, Connor stand by Evan. Then Blaire and then Zoe! Perfect! Smile everyone!”   
After more pictures than necessary Evan and Blaire left. Heidi offered to make dinner for the siblings, but they declined. Saying that they best be getting home.   
“Feel free to come over anytime. You will always have a home here. Both of you.”   
She hugged the Murphy’s and watched them leave. Then got ready to go to class.   
“Okay, what’s up with you?” Zoe asked once they were a few miles across town.   
“What’d you mean?”   
“You were fine this morning. But as the day progressed you become more and more…” Zoe paused trying to find the right word. “Detached.”  
“I’m sure it’s nothing Zo. I’ve been tired all day.”   
It was silent for the rest of the ride.   
When Zoe finally pulled into their driveway she didn't get out immediately.   
She still had her hands on the wheel when she spoke.   
“You know you can talk to me right? I may not be the best therapist, but I care Con. I do.”   
“I know.” He answered pulling at the sleeve of his sweatshirt.   
“I wish i could, but my brain keeps telling me not to.”   
“Why?’ Zoe’s voice was quiet, trying not to push.   
“No, nevermind, it doesn’t matter.” Connor said quickly unbuckling his seatbelt and opening his door. A hand was on his arm before he could actually get out.   
“Connor,, it’s okay.”  
“No, it’s stupid.”  
“If it’s bothering you it’s not stupid.”  
Connor looked at his sister. Her eyes brows were creased in worry. Her freckles looked like stars. And her eyes, god her eyes. They were the same as Connor’s. Icey blue, with a splotch of rich brown in the bottom of the right. They were so similar yet so different.  
“Connor?”   
“No, just. Please-” He couldn’t break down in front of her. He pulled out of Zoe’s grasp and rushed into the house. His parents were sitting on the couch in the living room. If they saw him they didn’t show it.   
Connor closed his bedroom door harshly. He was mad. He was mad that he was upset. And he didn’t know why he was upset.   
“Uggghhh!” He groaned pulling at his hair. The slight pain helped a little.   
He collapsed onto his bead and groaned again.   
He couldn’t get that image of Evan smiling at him. At that moment he just wanted to hold Evan close and never let go. And the color of his eyes. Unmistakable green. He just wanted to look into that green for forever. And his freckles. While you had to look closely to his and Zoe’s you could see Evan’s from a mile away. How they were like a trail leading to his pink lips. God Coner just wanted to kiss those lips and never stop.   
Wait- What?!  
Connor sat up with a start. Did he just think that? Did he want that?   
Connor started out the window and came to a realization.   
“Fuck. I have a crush on Evan Hansen."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a f l e a   
> im so sorry for making you guys wait so long  
> i hope you enjoy this chapter because it's been just over 3 months 
> 
> You can come yell at me on Tumblr at @silverwrites13 or my main @galaxy-trees13  
> OR  
> on instagram at @galaxytrees13 
> 
>  
> 
> please, comment and leave kudos! I strive for love


End file.
